Blurting, eating again and something useful

1. I'm known in my house as a "blurter". I find it difficult not to pour out my feelings and secrets. Actually I have remarkably few secrets although I'm not sure how I'd judge quantity or quality against any one else. This evening I was in a blurter state and my friend Peter was kind enough to listen and counsel me wisely. I am very grateful for that time and and consideration.

2. I had dinner for the first time in days. I've been on the border of really not very well since Sunday and unable to eat very much. So the meal I made this evening tasted wonderful. I love cooking. And I really like cooking for other people.

3. I figured out how to do something useful in Excel today and how to explain it to someone else. I think that had a good bit of beauty to it.

Thank goodness, Little Phil and unconditional friendship

1. Today was a better day. Thank goodness, it was all around me today..
2. Little Phil asked me to bake him a cake for his 21st birthday. I feel really good that he would be comfortable enough to ask me to do this for him...I 'm looking forward to it.
3. My on-line friend Peter turned up just as I was ready to go to bed (and not bother to write my TBT's). He's a sweetie. I am so grateful to him for his unconditional and patient friendship.

Experience, potential mistake and achieving some wisdom

1. I probably had a near miss today and I'm putting it down to experience.
2. I think I could potentially have made a big mistake, but I'm grateful I didn't (it was close though).
3. I definitely got sad but I'm relying on achieving some wisdom from it.

Two ducks, the Ikea queue and chocolate nemesis

1. There were two ducks on the grass in the garden this morning. I'm guessing they are the ones who were living across the road in the garden of the naughty neighbour. (His 'naughtiness' is a potential "beautiful things" candidate for another time, in case anyone should wonder or care). He has a square concrete formal pond in his front patch which these two had claimed for their own. I've enjoyed (for so many reasons) watching him chasing them out. In the last few days I noticed that he had put a metal grill over the pond. Perhaps to save children from drowning but I think its more likely that he is attempting to evict the ducks. The comic irony for me is that he has two hilarious grey (possibly plastic ducks) that float about slightly aimlessly on the little pond. They've gone too. Anyway this morning the ducks appeared in my back garden in the rain looking quite settled. There isn't a proper pond so I very much doubt they will stay but I was very happy to see them anyway. I'm just hoping that Mrs Norris doesn't have a go at them.

2. The queue in Ikea at Leeds can be frustrating. But I enjoy the few minutes rest it provides between the browsing for yet more stuff and the return home to find somewhere to put it. Today, mindful of my recent allegiance to 'enoughism' I decided (perhaps not quite for the first time) to make this my last ever trip there. In my head I needed just one more object to make this little house complete. I found the perfect thing and we had a cuppa tea in the restaurant. Then there was the queue. Ikea have little signs saying that they aim to get you through in eight minutes. It's a perfect amount of time to enjoy observing the behaviours of the other happy shoppers. The woman in front looked around and apologised for the lack of conveyor belt dividers. She did this several times despite the fact that she had so much stuff there was no room for my purchase. She had a pile of useful objects which ended (on the conveyor) with a pink ice cream scoop. "It was only 99p, what a bargain?" she enthused. I didn't actually consider running back along the yellow brick road to find one for myself but it was nice that she shared this find with me. I drifted for a bit to the handsome and not so handsome men, perhaps partners of the keen lady purchasers.I relish the time stuck in queues or on trains or before the film starts at the cinema when one gets a chance to people watch. I'm very grateful for the voyeuristic opportunity to dip into a moment of someone else's life. It's a bit creepy I suppose, but wonderfully free and with no apparent material responsibility, unlike the wooden slated venetian blind I know own from Ikea.

3. Being invited to Sunday lunch is a pretty good treat. Today was no exception. We were invited by friends who live in Wakefield to come for a meal. Firstly it is always good to catch up and gossip about everyone we know and then it's wonderful to have food cooked by someone else. We were served the very finest sweet I've had in a long time. My friend described it as 'chocolate nemesis' a recipe adapted from one in the River Cafe Cookbook. Adapted because the one in the book doesn't work by all accounts. But this version was about perfect. It was something between cake and mouse which melted, quite literally in the mouth. One slice provided heavenly sufficiency without the feeling that one had overindulged. Thank you Joan.

Saturday routine, Love Your Art and Mrs Norris makes a kill

1. I started my Saturday routine rather late. I am a person of habit in some things and visiting the centre of York to buy the Saturday Guardian, have a cup of coffee and wander around Barnetts is a safe one. This little weekly event gives me a great deal of pleasure. I enjoy the newspaper. I read some of it immediately, but I like going through each section and looking for things I will read later. I often start in the magazine and read (without waiting till later) Alex Petridis tiny column on men's fashion, just because its always funny. Then I often read out loud "The Measure", it's completely vacuous. Next I might turn to the Family section and catch up with the mad woman who writes "Living with Teenagers". She makes me feel better about my past parenting skills both successful and pathetic. And finally I would probably take in Ben Goldacres' column "Bad Science". This weeks rant is about the vitamin business and since I some connection to it in the past I read it with a smirk. All of this takes the length of time I need to drink my fresh orange juice, my latte and eat my almond croissant with Allan. As I write this I realise how very happy this silly little routine makes me and how precious it is to me and how grateful I am to be able to do it without thinking.

2. We went down Coney Street looking for action. There wasn't much. A few boarded-up shop fronts and Lush exhaling an overwhelming odour. But just as we were about to turn for home we came to a new shop Love Your Art. A very nice person greeted us. She was dressed with sufficient eccentricity to suggest that she might be an artistic type. She was friendly and chatty. The work in the gallery is not amazingly original but there were some very pretty things including some photographs by Yukio Namba of "Japanesie" scenes printed on hand made paper. Upstairs there was one painting in particular that I really liked by a bloke called Ian Rawling who paints a bit like L S Lowry but with fatter people. The best idea they had was sticky-backed plastic wall art. Fablon lives hooray! Basically they can digitally print art (or even bits of it) on the sticky backed plastic which you can use like very expensive wallpaper. They can also do it with fabric. This is art that you can therefore change when ever you get fed up with it. I'm guessing this is a chain store even though it looks more authentic. I was very taken with the printed fabric and Fablon though and glad to find something new on a street that seems to be having a hard time.

3. My third event is perhaps a bit of a strange one to record as something I feel grateful for. In the late afternoon one of the cats, Mrs Norris was spotted with a half dead wood pigeon in her mouth which she was proceeding to finish off and devour. My first reaction was horror and then fascination. Mrs Norris is a tiny cat who has a very scary glint in her eye and a insatiable desire to catch her prey. I did consider for a moment trying to intervene but I could see that it was too late for the unfortunate bird so I left her to skulk into the wild woodland that is the back of our garden. I must say I was impressed and happy that she is being a real hunter and clearly in her post-modernist, radical feminist element. Mr Tumnus on the other hand was doing what he does best, sleeping curled up but with one limp wrist dangling down, camp as tits.

Millionnaires biscuit, sage seedlings and niavete

1. There was difficult news for some people in my office yesterday about a pay regrading review. I decided to make some very sweet shortcake to take into the office to cheer people up. The shortcake was appreciated and so much so that there were several people with severe sugar overload. I think it helped. The recipe I followed was from Tom Norrington-Davies' book "Just Like Mother Used To Make". He used to be chef at the Eagle. This is a great little cookbook with meals and treats that are pretty standard British fare. Everything works though and this is a particularly good sweet biscuit which is made of butter shortbread with a layer of soft toffee caramel and topped with milk chocolate. It was fabulous.

2. My sage seedlings are a very small beautiful thing but they have given me a good deal of simple pleasure. I planted the seeds nearly three weeks ago and I had almost given up on them but now I have a load of two leafed plants. I'm not that fond of this herb but I'm thinking that they make good bedding plants, so I'm looking forward to them in the summer.

3. I am grateful today for being able to laugh at and acknowledge my naivete and my self indulgence in the past. Both these elements of my behaviour have and continue to provide good lessons in compassion and humility. These are on-going lessons as I continue to be niave and self indulgent, but these days I just notice a little quicker.

Sheffield Town Hall, PICNIC, Sheaf water feature

1. I went to Sheffield today to a meeting of database users in the Town Hall. So today my first beautiful thing has to be that building which was impressive, comfortable and old in a good way. The meeting was held in the Nelson Mandella Room which has a balcony the looks out onto a big square in the middle of the city. There is a lot of wood panelling and tiled floors and a grand staircase. It occurred to me that Allans grandmother probably used to visit this building.

2. PICNIC = Problem In Chair Not In Computer. This is apparently a popular IT support department code, it made me laugh out loud.
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3. There was a beautiful water sculpture by the station at Sheffield and as I came down the hill this evening it was looking magnificent.

A shark joke, being here now and twinkling

1. One of the removal men had been a joker on the day of the move. One of his jokes was told over and again several times yesterday and although everyone seemed to think it wasn't that good we all laughed together each time it was told. There is something beautiful about a group of Council workers laughing together.... "why did the shark use a mobile phone?"..."because he had blue tooth".

2. I went to the hospital to visit my friend who has been there for five weeks now. It was good to share smiles and be able make jokes and gossip about work. He was positive and bright despite feeling low earlier in the day. Whenever I go I come away feeling better about myself. It's quite a selfish feeling. I realise (again) that what comes next might be uncomfortable and harsh but it could as easily be healthy and bright. Ram Dass' slightly cliched aphorism "Be Here Now" seemed more realistic than ever.

3. After that moment of elevated consciousness i strode very purposefully down Gillygate and tired to make twinkle eye contact with each passer by. One bloke looked at me very cautiously. Most people just ignored me or pretended not to notice. I got a buzz from it though.

Red-headed man, gossiping and a stroll through Museum Gardens

1. I helped to move my office today from one building to another on the same street. At my new desk I have a view down Rougier Street which is bustling and breezy. Walking through the new building and past a slightly grumpy group of co-workers from another department, a handsome red-headed man smiled at me. It made the journey much happier. Thank you.

2. I walked over to Barnetts with a work mate to buy something for the new office. We hadn't seen each other for a while (he's been at another office), we chatted about music (The Foals, and Camille and I boringly raved about the Kooks), then discussed food and HFEA and Chinese dinners and finally we gossiped about people we both know (but I'm too discrete to reveal what was said...obviously). It was a treat to hang out with him again.

3. After finishing a bit later than usual at work I strolled across Museum Gardens. The sun seemed to be twinkling through the trees, people were laughing and playing football, children ran about crazy and a couple were locked in a romantic embrace under the Multiangled Tower. I felt good and optimistic.

A nice bloke, The Kooks and mowing the lawn

1. I was chatting last night to a really nice bloke on the internet. Remembering the conversation made me smile out loud to myself all day.

2. On the way home I listened on my ipod to The Kooks from their new album Konk "Do You Wanna?" and I laughed out loud with the rest of York.

3. I came home and mowed the grass. It smells wonderful. I am still chuckling out loud in the garden as I write this. Thanks.

Enough, car boot sale scarf and beef stew

1. This morning I finished reading Enough: Breaking free from the world of more by John Naish. City of York Libraries have a copy. I was inspired by his mention of a blog by Clare Grant called Three Beautiful Things.

2. I went with our house guests to the Sunday car boot sale at Murton. There wasn't anything very much I really wanted to buy for which I was grateful and good because I had just finished reading the above. I did however liberate a beautiful ladies scarf for 20p which will be a fine gift wrap for the next birthday present we give.

3. This afternoon I made a shin of beef with ginger and soy stew adapted from Fearlessly Eatsitall's recipe in The Guardian magazine yesterday. It was delicious. I bought shin of beef from the excellent meat stall on the market and I served it with stir-fried matchsticks of butternut squash, courgette and carrot, egg noodles and spinach. I found the whole chilli but realised that my meal might not have been quite so beautiful if I had eaten it whole. Thanks Hugh.